Subject: Re: Shank Bone
Date: Wed, 3 Apr 1996 12:03:09 -0600
Yes, Pesach approaches and for the second time in my adult life I'm stranded in the heartland with no seder to go to. I think sadly back to last year's seder with Haas and the wandering Jews of Seattle, to Eric Rosin's Arlington ingathering, and of course to the great Vulveders of years past, when we cooked latkes for 20 on a hot-plate in Dena's living room (I still have great photos of Daniel and Noah looking sharp in Dena's clothes). This year, I decided, Leland and I would give it a shot on our own; it's better than nothing. But April came up fast and I found that I didn't even have a Haggadah in the house. Thus began:
*The Search for the Columbia Haggadah*
(and Ted Koppel thought the Sarajevo one was hard to find?)Our first stop was Peace Nook, the hippy green lefty alternative birken-shop. Since a large part of their book section is devoted to "Spirituality," I thought we'd at least find a Feminist Womanspirit Haggadah or New-Age Pantheistic Sioux Seder or Unleavened Lesbians or Hemp Haggadah--the kind of book where God is referred to with a feminine or plural pronoun. Anything would do.
Jo- Do you sell any Passover Haggadahs?
Clerk- Ummmmmmmmmmm..... [gets shop owner]
Jo- [repeats question to owner]
Owner- Nope. Not a one. No demand for it. I suppose I could order you
one, but it probably wouldn't get here in time...
I mentally give the Peace Nook owner 400 bonus points for knowing when (and what) Passover is. He's a very cool guy who maintains a patient demeanor even though crewcut adolescents regularly throw full cups of Mountain Dew down the steps into his shop and born-again homophobes leaflet outside the door. He also lent me the store copy of the latest Dar Williams CD. Anyway, back to our quest: We proceed to the Acorn Book Shop next, figuring surely we'll find some used ones.
Owner- Y'all looking for anything in pertikler?
Jo- Yes, in fact. We're looking for a Passover Haggadah?
Owner- Er........................help me out here.
Jo- [explains what they are]
Owner- Well, here's my Judaica section back here, you can see what you find.
Jo- Thank you.
It doesn't take long to survey the narrow shelf and confirm the absence of the grail. I take out a women's book on Passover to glance at briefly, but snap it shut at the first graphic meditation on the blood of menstruation and the blood of childbirth. We move on.
The next stop is a sure bet, and we should probably have tried it first. The campus Hillel building, which doubles as the town's synagogue, must have some haggadot lying around now that Passover approaches. We go in, and after wandering around a bit and failing to find any books, we ask the only person in the building, an Asian gentleman who is setting up some tables.
Leland- Hi, we were wondering if you'd know where we might find a Haggadah
for the Passover Seder.
Man- [nods vigorously and points to tables behind him] Ah yes! Seder
tonight! [strange, since it's not Passover yet, but whatever]
Leland- [slowly] Yes, see, we're trying to find a book, a Haggadah--
Man- Oh yes! He not here, he left!
Leland- OK. Thanks.
Last stop, the university library. The card catalogue yields a couple of promising titles, so we go to the third floor, where we find two fascinating artifacts: The NEW Haggadah (1928, untransliterated Hebrew), and The Freedom Seder (1969--very--and no Hebrew at all). To quote from the latter:
"Elders! We have heard your lessons so far, and believe them. But as the prophet Dylan sang, 'The times they are a changin'.' We have lessons of our own to teach you. ...(When they are done, all present sing the song 'The Times They Are A-Changin'.')" There follow a few pages on "We condemn you, Dow Chemical." You get the idea.
This year may be memorable in its own way. Hag Sameach....
jo
From: djm8@cornell.edu(NO_SPAM) (Jo Miller)
Subject: Re: Shank Bone
Date: Fri, 5 Apr 1996 15:37:54 -0600
The haggadah saga has an epilogue.
For reasons which can only be attributed to incipient Creutzfeldt-Jakob syndrome, I forgot that there would be about a thousand haggadot available on the internet. (I also found the Mitzvah Tank of New Haven's website, by the way, and Temple Emanu-El's online real-time seder, which has the header: "Why is this site different from all other sites?")
But as far as I know you can't yet download kosher wine and matzah through a modem. The quest for *those* items took me on an eye-opening and less-than-wholly-successful journey that really defies chronicling. The last episode of a long, defeating day will suffice:
At the checkout line in the final grocery store, the woman rang up and bagged my items: matzah, candles, Manischewitz Macaroons, Manischewitz matzah meal, Manischewitz (heaven help us) "wine." I paid, she gave me my receipt, I thanked her, and then she bade me farewell with a cheery wish:
"Yew have a great Easter!"
Nuts & Gum, together at last,
jo
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